Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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