How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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