That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
too bad you live with your parents still
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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