Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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