Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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