used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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