hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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