so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
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No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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