Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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