he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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