i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
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You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
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He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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