I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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