talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize