I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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