I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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