I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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