I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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