Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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