You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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