I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize