Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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