You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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