All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
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Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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