I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize