you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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