All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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