so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
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The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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