3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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