I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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