Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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