Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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