I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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