Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Everclear isn't food dammit
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize