hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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