Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
my liver is dry heaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize