The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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