when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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