Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Bring me that man meat
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize