you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize