when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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