I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize