Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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