called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize