now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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