The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
sex in a hospital.. check
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize