Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize