I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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