I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He has the fingertips of a God
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