He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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