Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize